The Other Side: Learning How to See Our Ministry through Another’s Eyes
“Get away from me!”
I was walking home after school dropoff the other day, thinking about the work I had to do, generally minding my own business.
And then I heard her.
I turned to see a tall, late middle age woman dressed in running clothes, hurrying away from a 30-something year old man. He didn’t look particularly threatening, but given the random crimes befalling New Yorkers these days one never knows when a dangerous situation might erupt.
The woman caught up to me, walking only slightly faster than I. Her eyes still gazed backwards, in annoyance or maybe anger, but not quite fear.
So I asked her if she was all right.
“What?” she replied, directing her irritation towards me.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
I could’ve never guessed her reply.
“I just want to be left alone,” she answered. She looked me in the eye. “Don’t you understand? I don’t want to be bothered.”
As she stormed ahead of me she lobbed a closing salvo:
“Maybe I should buy a gun.”
This incident illustrates a duality of perspective that we pastors are wise to bear in mind.
There is on the one hand the perspective we think about the most, namely, our own—the perspective of the shepherd caring for the sheep, the perspective of the evangelist reaching the lost, the perspective of the prophet announcing God’s word. It’s what we’ve given our lives to do, and the responsibility never strays too far from our mind.
But that’s not the only way of looking at our work.
Just as important is the perspective of those who receive our ministry—the child of God hearing God’s word through us, the non-believer evaluating our witness to Jesus, the sheep experiencing our care of them.
And the two perspectives often are not the same.
I thought I was helping someone out of a potentially dangerous situation, when in fact by my very act of helping I was adding to her distress.
Now that’s a sobering thought.
We must bear this distinction in mind or else we will be susceptible to what the apostle Paul describes as “letting your good be evil spoken of” (Rom 14:16, KJV).
It is possible for us to act in good conscience before God while actually causing harm to another person.
Selah.
Given the stakes involved, we simply must pay attention to the way people think and operate in the here and now.
Most of us were trained for ministry in a pre-Covid world. Some of us were trained for ministry in a pre-9/11 world. The strategies, the examples, even the goals set before us were for a different age, a different mindset, a different world.
To put it another way, some things considered “good” in an earlier day are “evil spoken of” now.
So we need to keep listening to the world around us, to the people we’re trying to reach or serve or shepherd. How have they changed? Where is their heart? And how can we show them the beauty of Jesus, right where they are?
The story above crystallized in my mind three trends I’ve noticed here in New York, three ways people seem to have changed since Covid. We need to keep these in mind for the sake of our shepherding, our evangelism, our preaching.
- People are more skeptical than before
- People are less social than before
- People are more fearful than before
These observations need to shape our approach towards people. For example:
- If people are more skeptical, then we need to build longer relational runways, and possibly be more direct in what we say to avoid the appearance of a bait-and-switch later.
- If people are less social, then we need to lower our expectations for easy communication and learn how to be comfortable with awkward interactions (like Luna Lovegood).
- If people are more fearful, then we need to be more reassuring, a more stable presence in our neighborhoods, a more hopeful voice about the present and the future.
We’ll never get it right all the time, but if we don’t understand how people think and operate in the here and now, there is little chance we’ll be credible ambassadors for Jesus.
The place to start then is to notice what’s going on in the people around you. In your community. In your church.
And to notice what’s going on in your own heart. How have you changed in the last five years? And are those changes reflected in your ministry context?
This week let’s spend time learning how to see our ministry through another’s eyes.
What would you add to the list above? How are people different now than they were before? And how is that adjusting your approach as a leader?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Just drop a comment below.
Interesting piece. I would say Covid is a proximate, not an ultimate cause, in the types of problems you describe. Perhaps better, Covid responses are symptomatic of a bigger problem, which is that the post-Christian west is also a post-intellectual west, replacing thought with feelings, Books with documentaries, news with political commentary (and to be clear I al hitting both sides of the political spectrum here, as both sides seem to be equally guilty). To often the move to emotionalism creates a problem for men in Seminary’s taught the importance of thinking to go into a society that has forgotten that important point.
Also, I would say in this initial onslaught, my friend, you did no harm, hysterical reactions such as that of this woman are not your fault. This is only a problem if we accept perspectival epistemologies, which as believers we should not. Do not let this kind ofnthing tie you in a knot.
Thanks for your thoughts, Kevin, and for your encouragement. I agree with you in part, but at the end of the day we ministers have to be aware of the way people are moving through life and consider carefully how we respond to them, so that we may minister with both conviction and compassion.
Peace to you, friend.
Hi Matthew, I cry for my City and the world we are living in right now. It seems like we’d just found some solace after 9/11, then COVID threw us for a loop. The time in quarantine opened the door to more exposure to social media (in my opinion has had just as bad, if not worse), an impact on us than COVID!! Not everyone had COVID, but, EVERYONE has exposure to some form of media. People have been overwhelmed and over stimulated by sensationalism, propaganda and fear mongering, in isolation for almost 2 yrs straight, We’ve been told & shown we can’t trust the CDC, Police, our Government, our neighbors or even God. This has been a theme of late “How do you still believe in a God that would let all of this happen?!?!” My only reply, “Because we are here to talk about it.” The enemies objective was to send a plague then infiltrate and warp the mind & heart of humanity to make it look like God has abandoned us. That way if sickness didn’t get you, the seeds of violence that were planted will. BUT, IF NOT FOR GOD…we wouldn’t be here to tell it. Anyway, you are absolutely correct in saying what worked pre 9/11 & pre COVID may not work now. I look at every encounter as a new beginning, put how things used to go out of your head until you have made had a chance to assess the situation, that can be anywhere from a few seconds to a few months maybe even years. But, as long as we are leading with love, the Spirit will guide us and lead us all back to Jesus. I am praying for you and ALL leaders of Churches I do not envy your positions, but, I do respect it and an grateful for you and will continue to pray for you!! I hope I didn’t overstep by replying and not being of the ministry. I just wanted to reply to you on your piece, it touched my heart
You didn’t overstep at all. Thanks so much for sharing your heart with the rest of us. I especially resonate with your phrase “leading with love” and “the Spirit will guide us and lead us all back to Jesus.” Hallelujah!