Pent Up
By my count today begins the tenth week that we in NYC have been required to shelter in place.
At first there was a novelty to the requirement as I worked out solutions to new challenges.. How would we manage five children navigating distance learning on five different platforms? How would I work from home? How would I help pastors work from home? How would we handle simple errands like buying groceries? Finding best practices for each problem drove me forward.
That lasted about a month.
With every week that passes I find myself feeling a variety of emotions, often in a single day.
I feel pent up, corralled, restricted as to where I can go and what I can do.
I feel vulnerable. I am a cancer survivor and suffered a major complication from my radiation treatment that has weakened my respiratory system. COVID-19 is a real threat to me.
And I feel needy, like I have far fewer resources than I should have, whether financial or emotional or social or spiritual.
I really don’t like feeling this way. Deep down I believe I should feel free and wise and strong and sufficient. But that’s not where I am. Maybe that goes for you too.
There is a beauty in feeling the way we do. More than ever before we understand right now—and more importantly, we feel right now—the reality of a favorite metaphor God employs to describe us.
We are sheep.
I mentioned four descriptions of sheep above.
Before you read on take two minutes to think about your situation in light of everything you know about sheep. What pictures come to mind?
The One we follow sympathizes with our weakness. He is not only the Great Shepherd of the sheep; he is also the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.
And as the Lamb he fully experienced everything you’re feeling right now, yet without sin.
He submitted himself to his flawed parents when he wanted to be about his Father’s business.
He admitted that he did not know the time of his return.
He prayed for the cup to be taken from him.
He was led as a lamb to the slaughter.
Pent up. Short-sighted. Vulnerable. Needy.
It is not a sin to feel this way. The problem for us is that these feelings cause us to drift, looking for solutions, looking for a way out, looking for something to make us stop feeling this way.
They can turn us from God.
But that’s not what happened for Jesus.
He willingly and joyfully entrusted himself to this Father at every turn. As the apostle Paul puts it, he “became obedient to the very point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). Nothing could stop him from fulfilling God’s will. Not even how he felt.
And he never wavered from wholehearted trust in God because we constantly do.
The gospel is not: Jesus lived a life of perfect faith, so go and do likewise.
The gospel is: Jesus live a life of perfect faith for you, instead of you, in your place.
To put it in terms of another image “the Good Shepherd laid down his life for the sheep” (John 10:11). The NET Bible makes an important point here in a footnote on this verse:
“For a literal shepherd with a literal flock, the shepherd’s death would have spelled disaster for the sheep; in this instance it spells life for them.”
Why life instead of disaster? Because he laid down his life only to take it up again.
Jesus is risen from the dead.
And now by the Holy Spirit he has given us, the power of the resurrection now flows in your veins. The power to be pent up and not go stir crazy. The power to be short-sighted and not kill yourself looking for more light. The power to be vulnerable and rest in God’s care. The power to be needy and not to worry.
The power to trust God in spite of how you feel.
And even when you don’t—because 18 minutes from now neither of us will—the gospel will still be true. Your record of righteousness will still be Jesus. Your power for doing good will still be the Holy Spirit. And everything you’ve ever wanted will still be found in the delighted gaze of your Heavenly Father.
Because you have been pent up.
And the fence all around you is the unchanging love of God.
I’d love to hear from you. If I can pray for you, please reply to this email and let me know. And if there’s any way that I can help you, send me a note and let’s see if we can work something out.